I’ve now been in hospital here in Kathmandu for a total of a week.
First 2 days with the original Acute Mountain Sickness that I struggled with on the way to Everest Base Camp and then another FIVE with the subsequent lung and chest problems that I had to be re-admitted with 2 days after being discharged.
(The coughing up of blood seemed a good cue to seek medical attention) 🙂
I’ve got to admit, it’s been a challenging time for me.
Not only did I have a hard time with breathing and heart rate at altitude (the evening I reached basecamp my resting heart rate in bed at rest was 136bpm at 2 in the morning) but the much-promised relief from descent never happened either.
Now I know why.
Whilst at altitude my lungs began to take on and retain water that never emptied on return to lower elevation.
That water became a cause of infection and the infection got a little out of hand.
So I’ve been here in drips and oxygen and nebulisers and ecg’s and taking almost every medicine ever invented (ok, exaggerating a LITTLE bit) and all from a hospital room in a country far from home, in a city where I have no friends or family and in a room with no windows or natural light.
Add to that a few hiccups with the insurance company who informed me of the possibility of them not covering my helicopter evacuation and subsequent medical expenses and I found myself yesterday a bit…
…dark.
Negative.
Pessimistic.
Pissed off.
Not myself.
Then I started to think about all the great things I did and saw and achieved, the conversations I’d had and the MOMENTS of true miracle and wonder I’d experienced, like waking up at 3am to a field of stars and galaxies spinning over the ‘roof of the world’ or standing on a rooftop in Kathmandu watching the sun go down.
And I also recalled that I’d watched HOURS of documentaries (ask me anything you want about lions, crocs, sharks, wolves 🙂 ) the 5 books I’ve read, the hours of philosophy and spiritual teachings that I’ve listened to and I realised…
…it’s been an AMAZING few weeks.
24 hours ago I didn’t think so and was grumpy as hell about how my ‘dream trip’ ended up but honestly, sitting here right now I have no regrets.
Would I have LIKED a different outcome?
For sure!
I wanted to spend all the time in the mountains and temples… but this is what happened.
It just is.
And I realised that my grumpiness (and I promise you, I got it BAD over the last 48
Hours) was because I was fighting and failing to accept the reality of what HAS happened vs what i WANTED to happen.
Pretty futile.
More than that, harmful because it makes everything that IS happening a bore, a chore and a war.
It chases the majik away.
So today I’m back.
I’m down but not out.
I’m down because I’m STILL in hospital, STILL on drips and oxygen, STILL taking all the meds and STILL in a room with no windows.
But I’m no longer out… as in, out of alignment with who I know myself to be and out of alignment with what is.
I’m all good and will BE all good.
I’ve no regrets.
Only amazing memories and experiences and a few unexpected challenges thrown in for good measure.
After all, life sent me here to be a storyteller.
What kind of story would it be if I said “I climbed a big mountain. I came back down. It was good”? 🙂
So this is another amazing and interesting chapter in an already amazing and interesting life.
SO much to write about!
You’ll see 😉
Truth, joy and love
Dax
P.S – you’re going to experience chaos in your life so make it count.
The will always be a mess made of your best laid plans so make the messes matter.
Your messes become your messages.
And your messages heal the world… or at least, those that NEEDED to hear them.
P.P.S – to the literally HUNDREDS of people that have been writing to wish me well and a speedy recovery, thank you so much.
I really appreciate you all xxxx